Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Mom...Forever in my Heart!

Today is my Mom's birthday. She would have been 67 this year. Instead of celebrating, I am missing her dearly. She has been gone 17 years now. She died of ALS (Lou Gehrigs Disease). It is a Horrible way to die. They say it is like being buried alive in your own body. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

I still miss her every day...she was one of my best friends, someone I could talk to about anything. We used to go to craft stores and the different festivals together. She taught me how to sew, knit, do a variety of other creative things, as well as all the things a mother teaches her daughter. She truly was an amazing woman.

I was 25 when she passed. I have come to the conclusion that no matter how old you are...you never stop needing your mother. There are so many things that I want to ask her and that I could learn from her.

My son was 9 months old when she died. He was the light in her eyes. We would go and visit 5 or 6 days a week. My mom would light up when we arrived. She couldn't talk but we found our ways to communicate. Grunting and blinking eyes. She loved holding my son, she could watch him for hours...

Unfortunately she never got to meet my daughter...she would have liked her, in fact I think my daughter is very much like my mother...I find it kind of humourous that my mom died telling me that I couldn't just have one child...and then I have another and she is JUST like my mom.

Most days I believe that everything happens for a reason, I don't always figure out that reason...my Mom passing away forced me to make some changes in my life. That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger....well, I have shoulders of steel!

The last 17 years have been hard for this girl without her mother. I have been at the bottom of the barrel and am now holding my own! I lost everything I once had, with the exception of my children. I believe that my mother instilled in me a strength that I didn't know I had until after she died. Its funny how that works...You truly don't know what you have until it is gone...I miss You, Mom...Every day!!

I now tend to watch how other people interact with their mothers. I have come to the conclusion that most people don't appreciate their moms. They don't have the time to spend with her or they don't treat her the way she should be treated. This Mother's Day I want everyone who still has their mother around to REALLY look at your mom and appreciate her and all that she does...some day your mother will be gone too!

And for those who don't get along with their mother...try! Think about it...it really is a short term problem! Once she is gone you can't get her back to say what you want....It truly is final!

On that note I want to wish all the mothers out there A very Happy Mother's Day!

3 comments:

knitnonthefloor said...

I couldn't agree with you more! Love and hugs for a good weekend, it is 4 years this Saturday that I lost my Mom. Kirsty. XO

vivian said...

My mother and I have always had a difficult relationship. I never really appreciated her until my son was born and I was too sick to care for him myself. I never would have got through that time without her. We still have our disagreements but things are much better.
Thanks for your beautiful post. It brought tears to my eyes.
xo
Viv

Knitted Piper said...

I've been blessed to have a good relationship with my Mum ... just like she had with hers. I only hope I am teaching the same to DD.

I truely believe that your Mum is watching over you, and is VERY proud of the woman you have become.

God Bless